Monkey Mind Monday

Maybe less bossy would be better...
Maybe less bossy would be better...

I wrestled with whether to reveal the depths of my neuroticism on this blog and decided that monkey mind comes with my writing life. I’d like to think I’m not the only one who suffers from this silly malady.

Earlier today, monkey mind went something like this:

After a decade practicing the writing craft, I apparently STILL don’t know how to begin a story. If I haven’t mastered this by now, I probably never will master it. So maybe I should quit. I mean what’s the point, right? Why put myself through this suffering? But then what will I do? What am I good for in this life? I can’t do anything, really…

Ad nauseum. (I’ve always loved the way that phrase reminds me of the word “nauseated.”)

Monkey mind trigger? Last night I received feedback on my prologue. Actually, two prologues. Because I’ve always had trouble with beginnings, I turned in two and received much food for thought from my workshop instructor.

Unfortunately, after sleeping on it, I realized that I’ve been hearing the same feedback themes for years now, with every workshop, with every first scene. Haven’t I learned anything!?!??!

You can see how from this thought, I eventually ended up wondering if I should quit altogether. This is normal, right?

In the midst of all this neuroticism, I found myself pulling feedback from previous workshops out of my desk and placing them in a manila folder. In the future, I will peruse the feedback in this folder to remind myself what to watch out for as I start a new novel.

Action speaks louder than monkey mind, eh? Apparently, I’m not quitting yet.