I didn’t finish writing my daily five pages today because as the morning wore on, I felt more and more agitated. Restless. Possibly even a smidge neurotic. I was trying not to think about the latest batch of rejection letters my literary agent lately received from editors.
I don’t think I’m reaching for the stars here. I know my novel is worthy of publication. It’s just that I have no control over market trends and, frankly, luck. It’s disheartening that my novel’s fate rests on whether my agent happens to send the manuscript to the right editor at the right time. There’s just no predicting. She’s savvy, and she’ll contact the next batch of editors after the holidays; meanwhile, I gotta let go of that over which I have no control.
But, agitation happens despite my good intentions.
Mental health requires me to leave my apartment and go among people when I’m agitated. I most often hit my favorite WiFi cafe, Kodi’s Coffee & Cafe. I chat with the owner, Bruce (who is friendly with Denis Johnson, National Book Award winner!) and the other regulars. Then, I often take Kodi, the coffee house’s mascot, for a walk to the dog park.
Kodi loves me. I’m his Aunt Lisa, and the moment I enter the coffee shop he’s right up against my leg. Believe me, this is balm for an agitated heart. The dog park also calms my nerves. My brain empties in a most satisfying manner while I watch the dogs mount each other, sniff behinds, and run around like spazzes. I laugh alot. By the time I return, I’m a sane person again.
At the moment, I’m still a bit distracted, feeling sorry for my rejected manuscript…poor thing. It only wants to see itself in print. On the other hand, I’m sane enough that I’ll now finish my allotted five pages.