WRITING CREEPY | A Ghost Story Weekend

Come to find out that writing creepy is hard! I’d arrived at Ghost Story Weekend without an idea, thinking no biggie, something will come, it always does. On Friday night when most of the other 12 writers at the retreat tapped away, tap-tap-tap, on their short stories, and with only 24 hours to write a first draft, I found myself doing the Jack Nicholson:

“…I don’t know what to write I don’t know what to write. Image of a girl walking her dog…so stupid with no other character on the scene. But maybe the people in the houses — the people she sees through the windows are the creep-factors. Stepford-wife-like neighborhoods are creepy. So what would this girl be — blah! I don’t have an idea I don’t know what to write I don’t know what to write…”

About half of us sat in the haunted boathouse while the others wrote in the bungalows. When we’d met with our hostess, novelist Elizabeth Engstrom, earlier in the evening, I’d noticed that most of my fellow crazy people looked confident. Even the few who’d arrived without a story idea looked confident that they’d find and finish their stories. For some reason, I was stuck on the word “creepy.”

I wasn’t in a creepy mood. I was having too much fun reunionizing and meeting people, enjoying the unusually warm weather, relishing the time away from my moronic downstairs neighbors, and drinking red wine. If anything, I was in a sarcastic mood. I kept hearing a flippant little first-person voice poking fun at everything ghostly.

But…I was also torturing myself in classic writerly fashion: I must give creepy a try.

Saturday dawned cloudy with wind enough to stir Siltcoos Lake and set the boathouse to swaying. I had nothing. No revelations in the night despite the index cards and pen sitting next to my pillow. EFF-this, I thought, I’m going with my sarcastic voice. As long as my story contains some species of ghostly phenomena, I’m golden.

Then, what do you know, I had a blast writing my story. Now my desperation was all about finishing the draft by 6:00 p.m. that evening. I started with a voice and a setting — plus something to poke fun at: ghost hunters. Didn’t know where it was going, how to end it, or what the point of the whole thing was. After awhile, I didn’t care, and, in the end, I even managed a little creepiness.

Lessons learned or relearned?

1. Jump in, the story will follow. Sometimes it’s best not to think too hard about it.

2. Go with the voice in my head that’s yelling the loudest.

3. Creepiness comes when you least expect it.

Particularities and Perseverence

I wanna go back to sleep SO bad!

On Friday I wrote that I was seeking something in my life, and I wondered what this meant for my fiction. I didn’t mean that I was going to quit. I meant that I need to branch out and explore other areas of my being-ness. I’ve had one egg (fiction)  in my basket for quite awhile now.

However, that said, today I promised myself I’d start writing on yet another new novel idea. Last fall I started a thriller, took a workshop, and lost interest in the story. Hard-core thrillers aren’t my thing, that’s all. But I wanted to check out that kind of storytelling, and I’m glad I did.

Now, it’s time to start again. I’ve muddled a new idea, and, of course, I’m unsure about it. Over the weekend, I realized — RE-realized I should say — that after awhile I tie myself in knots with too much thinking. I’m better in the doing. The only way to know whether I’m emotionally invested is to write the first 50 pages fast, which is to say, with minimal angst.

Being a detail-oriented person, I find it’s the particularites set down on the page that get me excited. The grand story vision is an untested theory, that’s all. So I’ll see what I see after 50 pages.

I’m sitting up in bed with coffee, laptop, index cards, and novel journal (plus cat) at my side. Please wish me luck: I’m exhausted and anxious. I haven’t been sleeping well because of money stress. That’s why I’m still in bed; sitting at my desk to write would take too much energy. This, my friends, is perseverence in action!

Channeling Novelist Diana Abu-Jaber

Current mood: prickly
Current mood: prickly

I’m highly frustrated right now. I’m supposed to be having fun, experimenting, if you will, with a thriller-ish kind of story so I can improve my plotting and pacing skills. Well this you-know-what’s hard!

I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. Maybe I haven’t mastered as much writing craft as I thought, and I’m telling you, I’m about to throw this lousy thing out, give up, go back to wallowing in all my bad writing habits because at least I was having fun.

It’s interesting because by concentrating on plot/pacing, character automatically takes a backseat. I’m a character gal. I get all inside their heads, so looking at story from a different perspective is whacking out my brain. And I know I might receive comments that both character and plot are important. But of course — but, you see, I’m focusing on plot right now.

I’m reminded of novelist Diana Abu-Jaber. She’s one of those gorgeous, plotless writers. Her prose is full of every kind of sensory description, especially when it comes to food. Crescent is one of my favorite novels simply for its loveliness.

A few years back I heard her speak at a literary festival. She’d recently come out with a — GASP! — mystery. Yee gads. This fascinated me. I read the novel beforehand, and the gorgeous writing was still there (so it was a literary mystery), but so was the suspense. That is to say: the plot.

Here’s what she had to say about her genre switch:

“If you want to learn plot, write a thriller or a mystery.”

“I really needed to get me one to those things — a plot.”

She said she started out with a snobbish attitude, like it would be so easy — it’s just a mystery, right? She tried everything, and her editor kept sending back the manuscript with notes like, “Make it better.” She had to learn how to plant clues, build suspense, and create a great villain. She said that at one point her editor reminded her that we’re not supposed to know who the villain is until the end of the story. She said it was HARD and that now she has the utmost respect for thriller/mystery writers.

From a craft perspective, she started over. But she did it. And if she can do it, so can I. So now I’m channeling Diana Abu-Jaber in hopes that some of her patience will rub off on me. Because I am losing patience. With myself, with the process, with the story itself…sigh…

Writer, Author, Student

The Fabulous Four: my book group
The Fabulous Four: my book group

I passed a quiet weekend with my writing. This morning, it occured to me that I experienced my writer’s life from three distinct vantage points.

As Lisa the Writer, I, as you might expect, wrote. In fact, on Saturday I officially finished Act I of the new novel. I call it a step in the right direction that I wrote toward the first dramatic point, instead of winging my way toward it.

As Lisa the Author, I received a sweet surprise from my book group. After discussing Sue Milller’s The Senator’s Wife, my friends thrilled me to pieces by pulling out the Elizabeth George anthology that contains one of my short stories. They’d bought copies and insisted I autograph them–oh my! I was tickled to pieces, and, of course, froze up at the thought of signing the books. What was I supposed to write?

I wrote personal bits to them, but this fun experience got me thinking about practicing my signature and about coming up the quick autograph statement. “Enjoy!” is a common one. “Best thoughts!” “With every good wish!”

It’s fun to dream.

As Lisa the Student, I began a 10-week writing workshop. A writing buddy happened to mention the class, and within five minutes I railroaded him into emailng the instructor for the both of us (since we were at a coffeehouse and he had his Mac). We nabbed the last two spots. The author, April Henry, is a NYT bestseller who writes thrillers; and the class focuses on suspense, mystery, thriller, crime; and since I need to amp up my plotting and pacing skills; and since I’m starting something new…Serendipity!

Started the New Novel!

Current mood: content
Current mood: content

And it wasn’t as traumatic as all that. In fact, it felt natural, and as soon as I began writing, my anxiety drained away. Finished the first scene, and I’m okay with it for now. Gets me started.

However, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever be able to write “fast.” As in fast-paced…One of the things I’m doing differently this time is concentrating on suspense. As in, I’m going to write a suspense novel. I’m going to focus on pacing and plot. I’m going to have fun with it.

So, what do I do? Write a first scene that’s kinda quiet. I couldn’t write one of those wham-bam novels if I tried. And I am trying…I re-read the scene several times, feeling the usual self-doubt, but still overall, pleased at having started.

One thing I know about myself: I think symbolically, so without realizing it or particularly trying, I’ll have described something in the setting — for example, Christmas lights — and I’ll have described these lights in a way that illustrates my character’s mood, and then maybe a string flickers out, furthering the mood, inciting the character to reflect (but not for too long) on something…

Does that sound fast-paced to you?

Definitely not wham-bam, but, on the other hand, did I accomplish my first-scene goals? Grab quickly? Introduce an intriguing main character in conflict? End on an open-ended note? Introduce elements that will echo later?

I think so — I hope so. I guess we’ll see!

Lesson of the day: Accept my writing style while improving on my weaknesses.

I Get Scared

Current status: Story spinning okay
Current status: Story spinning okay

I’ve been working on a new novel idea, and I’m doing it differently this time. (Hopefully I’ll elaborate on that soon.) At the moment, I’m a little scared. Do you get scared right before you begin your first scene?

I’m so anxious, my chest wall presses up against my sternum. It’s a little tight in there, like maybe my ribs have morphed into squeezing tentacles. A friend reminded me to have fun with this new story. But I’m still taking it all too seriously, probably because I want this fiction-thing to work out. I’ve been disappointed over the last year. Losing agent, languishing finished manuscripts, writing grant fini and day-job sucking at my creative marrow…

I can’t avoid the writing forever — and by avoidance I mean engaging in endless story-development exercises — because at some point the head of steam compels me to set words on paper. I feel uncomfortable and itchy, just gotta start. I’m at the teetering point now. I’ve been here before. The discomfort is familiar, and I’m thankful for that. I’ve worked through it before and will work through it now. 

This discomfort in a good sign. The story has almost completed its initial gestation period.

This discomfort differs from that I felt at the beginning of the summer, when I thought I’d never have another story idea. Now that’s the truly scary place! Glad I’m past that.

Writing Bliss

Just a pretty view, but what's that?
Just a pretty view, but what’s that?

Today felt fan-tabulous. I fiiinally started the story that I’ve been thinking about for eons. This story began its budding life with a title I liked…and then last fall a memorial bench in my neighborhood park sparked my interest.

A few weeks after noticing the memorial plaque beside the bench, I took these photos, which solidified my story idea. It’s been bugging me ever since. The piece felt difficult, however, because I wanted to challenge myself to create a story in which nothing much happens. (Sounds weird, but read on.)

A few days ago, I decided I’d best set myself a goal and get the darned thing written. The steam of it was about blow out my ears. Onto the page already!

What's that woman doing at the memorial bench?
What's that woman doing at the memorial bench?

I played my usual mind tricks: index cards, daydreams with notebook open at my side (and a few zzz’s thrown in for good measure), jotted notes in a blank Word file.

Then today: Ten pages, baby! There’s something too delicious about fresh words on fresh pages.

Closing in...Oh my, she's cleaning the memorial...
Closing in...Oh my, she's cleaning the memorial...

Don’t get me wrong, I love revising, but revision is quite the analytical process for me. Pure creativity like today’s is bliss.

Bliss!

The story consists of three scenes: at home, to the florist, to the memorial bench. I wrote two of them today. It never ceases to amaze me that a whole world can exist within a basic, maybe even boring, framework.

...for a boy, I imagine her son...
...for a boy, I imagine her son...

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but I love backstory. And my quiet, grieving protagonist isn’t all that she seems. So even though nothing happens, in reality everything’s happening. I love that!

Tomorrow I’ll finish the first draft. I’ll send it to my writing group. On Tuesday, they’ll probably ream me a new one.

But hey, it’s getting this long-awaited first draft into Times New Roman, 12 point, that counts! 

Flowers beside the plaque
Flowers beside the plaque

Answering Nova Day

(What is this? My very own meme, which could take the form of other Friday memes out there — random five or ‘fessing up — or non-Friday memes, or anything! Point being to have a little fun and get a little interactive. Feel free to snitch my logo at left and do your Friday thing!)

 

I’m calling today’s Free-For-All Friday installment “Answering Nova Day” because this strikes me as a fun thing to do.

Nova left a comment on my Monday Thoughts post. This comment consisted of a couple of questions that continue a couple of thoughts and are worthy of free-for-all-ing on this soggy Friday.

On the topic of outlining, Nova asked, You know I’m going to write an outline for the next novel, but if it’s anything like what I did the last time I don’t look at it after it’s written and I change the story quite a lot…What’s your non-outlining plan?

Funny you should ask, Nova, because I’ve been thinking about that lately. And I confess:

I love index cards. I’m the index card queen. I’m also the brainstorming and character analysis queen. So, after catching a whiff of something  — could be an image like two people walking down a lane (last novel) — I chase the whiff down with said brainstorming and character analyses until I’ve got a semblance of an idea.

(My question always is: How do people come up with their ideas? I have to torture them to get them to reveal themselves! What about you?)

The character analyses are the big thing for me. And if you believe that character is plot and plot, character, then you’re probably not surprised that plot points arise out of the analyses.

This is where index cards come in. I jot every scene idea onto its own card. Also, every scrap of dialogue that floats into my head, every what-if possibility, everything. I end up with way more cards than I use. I shuffle through them as I write the first draft, adding to their number, setting aside those that become moot or simply too silly to use, and so on.

I usually stop writing the first draft (last time it was at around page 120) to take stock of what I have. By then, I have a way better idea of the story. If I remember rightly, last time I did this, I spent many weeks analyzing and revising to sinc up the material with what I now knew to be true for the story. (That said, the first draft is still a mess.)

I do wish I had a better process. I would love to be a person for whom the one-sentence what-if? idea and subsequent outlining came easily…

And next, regarding deadlines, Nova asked, What’s your next self-imposed deadline?

Once again, funny you should ask, Nova, because yesterday I decided that my next self-imposed deadline is, ta-da:

Finish revising the older novel I’ve been working on and send it to my agent in January. I’m even going to call her to let her know this — that’s really putting the flame under my tookis, isn’t it?

High Hopes (for Tomorrow)

I had high hopes for today. Writing plans. A concrete goal. I’m flailing because I’m sick. Okay, okay, I’m not THAT sick, just heavy-headed and scratchy-throated enough that serious development work isn’t going to happen. I must be spry of mind for that, so maybe tomorrow then.

matrimonyBut I can blog. I can tell you what I meant to accomplish today. After three intense weeks with the manuscript, I’m letting it sit for a week. So, my goal for the week was (still is?) to start a piece of short fiction — complete a first draft actually. It’s the story I mentioned here. It’s finally collected enough steam beneath it. I’ve got the central premise, the feeling…

Who am I kidding? I don’t have squat, but it does want to get written. I decided that instead of just writing, I’d give novelist Joshua Henkin’s thought process a try. (He wrote his latest novel, Matrimony, over 10 years and 3,000 pages, and though I haven’t read it yet, I’d bet his novel is recommendation-worthy. That said, he’s known for his short fiction.)

Joshua Henkin led a short-story workshop last weekend. It’s ridiculous to think we can learn anything in an hour, so I sat back and kept an ear-out for soundbites. Those little bits of insight that could help me with my process or simply get me thinking outside my box. Henkin provided the following handout, which might be a helpful spur for you, too.

Questions Joshua Henkin posts above his desk

1. What is the journey my charactes are taking?

2. Why am I telling the story today? What’s special about today — what makes it different from all other todays? (Addendum: May be confusing. This is from the protagonist’s point of view: What’s the urgency about today versus other todays in the character’s life? Why story being told now? Answering this can help pinpoint the character’s journey.)

3. Who is the protagonist, antagonist?

4. What does my protagonist want and what does s/he think s/he wants (often different)?

5. What will protagonist do to achieve these wants and who/what are the obstacles?

6. What important choice(s) is my protagonist making and with what consequences for him/her or others?

None of this is mind-bending, yet I’ve never gone about brainstorming like this before writing a short story. Today, I’d planned to give these questions a try — like an experiment. Tomorrow I shall do so, I promise!

Do any of you engage in this type of story development before you write (short fiction)? Is your process as concrete as going through a list of development questions? How much do you know before you write your first draft?

THE END!

There’s nothing like writing “THE END” (must be all caps, for me at least) on a first draft, and I wrote just that this morning! Yippee!

Of course, there’s still much to accomplish during revisions, but I have my story, verbose as it may be. I overwrite my first drafts — too much description, too much repetition, too much explanation of what I’ve effectively shown — but I don’t mind. I have tons of material with which to work: a comfort.

Some novelists underwrite their first drafts — so lean they gotta pig out on words during revisions to add complications and subplots and descriptions and character development.

Either way, right? As long as we have that first draft in hand!

Now, I’ll enjoy a summer vacation (woo hoo) — for a few weeks at least — if I can possibly stand the hiatus. I’m going to…what am I going to do with myself while my first draft cools off?

Oh my, oodles of open-endedness. My mind just went blank…

I’ve been working on this thing for a year. I’m so relieved I feel like melting. I am melting. I am, in fact, already melted. Melted feels delicious.