It Is What It Is

Sunshine picture for a sunnier perspective:

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I’ll admit, I’m still unsettled by last week’s setback. My energy’s low. I want to take lots of walks, which is a sure sign that I’m melancholic. It’s not about the agent mishap. Not really. That was a trigger for other thoughts. The bigger thoughts about my life, the writing, what’s going to become of me, and so on. You probably know how that goes — pretty common, I’d guess.

However, one thing about me: I have a knack for stepping outside myself at the same time I’m falling into mini-funks. The detachment doesn’t diminish the funks, only allows me to see them for what they are: transitory.

Can anyone else relate to this?

So, yes, I’m in a mini-funk. I see the funk. I accept the funk. And the funk is what it is. Over the next week or two I’ll probably be doing a lot of thinking (not always beneficial!).

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Meanwhile, though distracted and unmotivated, I’m working anyhow. I’m reading through the manuscript that I’d worked on with Erstwhile Agent, trying not to dwell on all the ways the first 25 pages I’d changed per her suggestions (to speed up the beginning) don’t feel right.

Meanwhile, two quotes I’m liking at the moment. I wrote this one out large on several sheets of paper and taped it to the wall beside my bed:

I’m a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it. (Thomas Jefferson)

This quote reminds me to quit with all the thinking already!

Our “original mind” includes everything within itself. It is alwasy rich and sufficient within itself. This does not mean a closed mind, but actually an empty mind and a ready mind. If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything. It is open to everything. (Shunryu Suzuki-roshi)

Bummed Versus Philosophical

Bummed Lisa: Dal-burned rain, go away!

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This is the Lisa who yesterday:

~ Pulled a Debbie Downer on three hapless people (fellow dogwalker, barista, deli chef), telling them my tale of woe. (They were sympathetic, which did help.)

~ Didn’t ingest anything until 3:00 p.m. and then ordered Starbucks’ most decadent holiday mocha (I don’t even like Starbucks) and the most decadent sandwich at the nearby gourmet deli.

~ Sat in the car staring off into space for so long the dog curled up and fell asleep.

~ Watched television all night (“Ghost Whisper,” “The Mentalist,” and “The Starter Wife”).

VERSUS

Philosophical Lisa: See pretty lights; I like pretty lights.

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This is the Lisa who yesterday:

~ Went on a 90-minute dogwalk and condoled with a woman who’d recently lost her husband to Lou Gehrig’s Disease (using Oregon’s Death With Dignity Act).

~ Found herself thinking (and believing) things like: This is for the best and there’s a better agent out there for me. All will be well.

~ Who felt a mental eff-you finger toward obstacles in general: Oh, yeah, well take that!